Thou shalt:

1. Never take risks — for you will only increase the chance of making a lot of mistakes. And that will make your followers believe you are fallible.

2. Never let your emotions show — especially your passion or enthusiasm for your work. People will think you’re a wuss.

3. Avoid professional development opportunities — and discourage the desire to do so in others. You’ll save the company a lot of money. And that will make your shareholders very happy.

4. Always have a good excuse handy — and the more complicated the better. Never take the blame for anything. It’s important that you exude a strong presence as commander-in-chief.

5. Always point out the faults in others — and do it in as scathing and biting a way as is humanly possible such that they will never forget your richly deserved dressing down. After all, your fundamental purpose as leader is to improve performance and that means people must know what behaviours need correcting.

6. Never share your knowledge or wisdom with subordinates — they will inevitably use it to undermine your authority and then seek to replace you at the top. Your tenure will be short so why make it even shorter?

7. Never ask a question you cannot answer yourself — people will think you are incompetent if you don’t know what to do. After all, isn’t telling people what needs to be done the essence of leadership today?

8. Always micromanage the really important projects — that way you’ll get done exactly what you want done. And your staff will greatly appreciate your help.

9. Always assume your organization’s competitive advantage is permanent — there’s no use worrying about the things you cannot control.

10. Always endeavour to appear unapproachable — this will save you a lot of time as people will be forced to deal with their own problems. Isn’t that how people learn to become better problem solvers? (And time is, after all, your most precious asset.)

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