I do a lot of coaching and work with coaches on their coaching. Over the years, I’ve heard from coaches where they have team players that “do get it”. Through many coaching sessions, the team player continues to remain where they are, not improving. At times, this static-ness becomes a detriment to the team.
In a conversation with one of these coaches who had one of these team players, I asked, “Who does most of the talking during your coaching sessions?”
“I do,” the coach quickly responded.
“And you continue to see the same results from this team member?” I ask.
“Yes, and I’m frustrated!”
“Then talk less,” I say, “it’s time you ask them for a commitment to change.”
This launched us into a good conversation about the coach’s focus – it had been all about what the coach wanted to happen. The team member only had to sit and listen. The team member “had to have skin in the game.” They just had to endure a coaching session, and then it was back to the same behaviors.
There was no commitment coming from the team member. None.
So the coach and agreed upon these next steps:
- At the next coaching session, the coach would approach the same topic but this time ask the team member for their commitment to the process.
- The coach would ask something such as: “What things do you need to do more of or less of to bring about the change needed in your performance and to improve your relationships with your coworkers?”
- The coach then needed to be quiet and expect answers from the team member. Ask more follow up questions and listen.
- The coaching session would be documented and followed-up on.
- The coach would take time in between coaching sessions to be around the team even more to observe and listen.
- Feedback would be provided at future coaching sessions.
- The team member’s commitment would be reviewed and evaluated in future sessions.
This plan was implemented. It worked. The coach remained consistent. The team member complied and improved. But she eventually left the company. Why?
Expectations were backed up with accountability – the team member didn’t want this kind of accountability over the long-haul. She knew (in my opinion) that she would not keep up her end of the commitment. So she left. And that was ok.
The coach’s team is now performing well together. Their results have improved. Their reputation has improved among their peers.
Leader, do not be afraid to ask for a commitment from your team. Back up your expectations with accountability. Be consistent in your coaching, documentation, and follow-up. Your team can and will improve!

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