From Depression to Stronger Together

In Shawn Achor’s book, Big Potential, he shares this sobering data:

“The average age of being diagnosed with depression in 1978 was twenty-nine.  In 2009, the average age was fourteen and a half.  Over the past decade, depression rates for adults have doubled, as have hospitalizations for attempted suicide for children as young as eight years old.  What could possibly have changed so much to account for this?”

Achor points to rise of technology and social media.  For kids, there is a never-ending need to announce accomplishments and the whirlpool of competition (from boyfriends to athletic prowess to stupid tricks to selfies) keeps spinning faster and faster dragging more and more people in.  And then there is the pressure that continues to ramp up in schools and on the athletic fields and arts platforms.   Better grades.  Higher batting average.  Flawless performances.  Pressure! Pressure!  Pressure!

For adults, it is not much different.  Promotions, projects, and performance all set the stage for continual pressure points.

Achor’s challenge and call is for us to understand that our potential is “interconnected with others.”  “We need to stop trying to be faster alone, and start working to become stronger together.”

Good words for today, right?

We are about to enter a time when we need each other more than ever.  When the economy opens back up, we face choices.  Everyone for themselves or everyone helping each other to recover.  People want and need to get back on their feet.  Each of us can help someone succeed.  How?

  • Be an encourager.
  • Help someone find work.
  • Listen to a hurting friend.
  • Support a local business and encourage others to do the same.
  • Celebrate someone else’s win.

“Because when we work to help others achieve success, we not only raise the performance of the group, we exponentially increase our own potential…making others better takes your success to the next level.”

happiness Achor

Staying Connected – We’re Better Together

I produced a video yesterday for our local leadership networking forum, First Fridays Fort Wayne.  I wanted to share the text of what I said on video.  This is all about how we can stay connected during this quarantine environment that we are all hoping ends soon.

child zoon

…We’ve moved meetings and events to Zoom and Skype platforms.  We’ve been entertained by the sound of barking dogs, children asking a parent for something to eat, and squealing brakes of a garbage truck in front of our house while these meetings go on.  We’ve hoped and prayed our internet speed holds up.  We’ve been bombarded with emails, instant messages, and more meetings.

And we do all of this in relative isolation from each other.

We are suffering from what someone in our area has called technology fatigue.

Don’t get me wrong.  Technology is great!  But is cannot ultimately replace the face-to-face interactions that so many of us are missing.

So how can you stay connected professionally during this quarantine?

  1. Talk with another leader outside of your company. Pick up the phone, Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, etc. Literally, talk with someone you were connected with prior to the quarantine.  It does not have to be about work or your career.  Just make a person-to-person contact.  A friend called me the other day to ask some questions.  It was SO GOOD to hear his voice.  We need this kind of interaction.  Just like the old telephone commercial says, “Reach out and touch someone.”  (just don’t physically touch them…we’re not supposed to do that!)  You get the jist…

Contact me

  1. LinkedIn connections. So many of you are on LinkedIn today.  This is a great tool to stay connected.  When you read someone’s post, comment on it.  Send them a message.

 

  1. Write a note and mail it. Let me say that again – write someone a note and mail it.  That still works!  Encourage someone.  Tell them you are thinking of them.  Ask them to pass this idea along and to send someone they know a similar note.

 

  1. Email someone. About once a month, I send a few people an email thanking them for their contribution to our community.  I thank them for how their company is positively impacting us all.  It makes a difference in that person’s life.  Try it.

book                                                          podcast

  1. Recommend a book to read or a podcast to listen to. Do this through your socially media channels.  There are many of us out here who are looking for the next book to read or a podcast that will help us grow.  You can be a resource for someone’s personal, professional growth.

 

  1. Even in the midst of a quarantine, you can network. Attend a First Fridays online event.  As I shared earlier, we have some great online events coming in May. Greater Fort Wayne (our local chamber of commerce) is offering a variety of sessions with flexible times/days to connect with others.  Take advantage of these great opportunities.  Make technology work for you to network!

 

  1. Give back. We all know how devastating this quarantine has been.  So many businesses are at risk of closing never to open again. I’ve driven by small businesses in town seeing their site closed with For Sale signs out front.   Support local businesses in any way you can.  Order carry out from local restaurants.  Buy a t-shirt from them.  Buy other products that they offer.  Recently I order a t-shirt and hand sanitizer from Three Rivers Distillery Company here in Fort Wayne.  It was a simple way to support a local company who has pivoted their business to serve the needs of our community.  It was an investment of $24 from me to do this.

three rivers distillery

 

hand santizer

 

I hope that this quarantine comes to an end very soon.  We need to get our economies going and growing again.  But in the meantime, do what you can to connect with local leaders.

Let’s keep our community’s foundation strong.  Encourage one another.  Help one another.

As my new t-shirt says, “We’re better together.” 

Change the Way You See Situations

As I stated in my last post, I have been reading Change the Way You See Everything.  In fact, I just finished it during my lunch break today.  This is probably the fourth time reading through this incredible book.

In the closing pages I read today, authors Cramer & Wasiak challenged me to change the way I see situations.  What is the current situation right now on April 27, 2020?  The ongoing quarantine due to the corona virus.  The economy of the world is crippled.  Millions in the US are unemployed – and this happened in a mere matter of weeks.  Small businesses are closing never to reopen.  There is a lot of depression, fear, and despair.

If we’re honest, most of us focus on that last paragraph.  The 24/7 news channels feed viewers a never-ending diet of gloom and doom.  It seems as if everything is focused on what has gone wrong.

But what if we could see this differently?  

Think back to September 11, 2001.  When that day happened, I’m sure many thought New York would be forever devastated.  But Mayor Rudy Giuliani provided this vision:

“Tomorrow New York is going to be here…and we’re going to rebuild, and we’re going to be stronger than we were before…I want the people of New York to be an example to the rest of the country, and the rest of the world, that terrorism can’t stop us.”

And New York did rebuild.  One year ago, I stood at the World Trade Center Memorial.  I walked the streets of the city.  It has rebuilt.  Our nation became stronger and more vigilant.

How did that all happen?  How will we climb out of the hole we were thrown into these past few months?  Can we?  Yes, we can!

foucsCramer & Wasiak challenge us to apply the 80-20 rule…in reverse.  “Instead of focusing 80% of your attention on problems and 20% on opportunities, concentrate 80% on opportunities and 20% correcting what’s wrong.”

 

So what are your opportunities?

  • Devoting time to invest in your personal growth and development.
  • Investing time to discover a better/more efficient way to get work done (hey, you already changed where you work – focus on how you work!)
  • Ask, “How are my customers interacting with me now?  What is working with this?  What small tweaks can I make that would make it even easier for my customers to do business with me?”
  • Ask, “How can I become more financially fit during this situation so I can better be prepared for the future?  Who can I turn to for help with this?”  (locally, here).
  • Ask: “Who can I help right now?  Who needs encouragement, support, or a friend?”

“…what if you could reach into the depth of that problem and extract a treasure – a wealth of information that could propel the situation forward in a way that benefits everyone involved, exponentially!”

Cramer & Wasiak offer solid advice:

  • Get a new vision of your world today.
  • “Turn yourself on by sharpening your vision” of what could be.
  • “Link your passion, vision, and skill set with the strengths and capabilities of those you have attracted into your circle of influence.”  
  • Change how you think about problems and set-backs.

This is not an impossible situation we are all in.  But those that will rise to the next level and challenge will be those who focus on the 80% of the opportunities this time is presenting to us.

“How can this be the best problem we’ve ever had?”

The First 7 Seconds

Change the Way

I am re-reading a great book by Dr. Kathryn D. Cramer and Hank Wasiak.  The book is Change the Way You See Everything.  I’m in the section that talks about creating positive interactions/ relationships with others.  Here is something that should make us all think:

 

“Research confirms that the tone you set (positive or negative) in the first seven seconds of any interaction determines the predominant tone for the remainder of the interaction.  Start well, and you are more likely to end well – even in the face of challenging or disturbing interactions.”

What Do I Do Now?

Many years ago, I was having lunch with a friend who was going through a rough, personal time – an ugly divorce.  As we talked, he poured out his heart to me – hurt, bitterness, anger, etc.  It was real.  And it was tough to listen to. He was so frustrated with the entire ordeal that at one point he said, “I feel like I need to be doing something right now.  I feel caged up.  My life isn’t moving forward.  What do I do now?”

What do I do now?

We are several weeks into the Covid-19 disaster.  The news is filled with daily reports of death and despair.  Our world-wide economy is being more than constrained.  Small business owners are watching what they fought so hard to create crumble right in front of them – and at no fault of their own.

People are losing their jobs and their security.  I hear first hand of stories of despair and worry.  It would be hard enough to lose a job, but during a time when government tells businesses to remain shuttered, new opportunities seem unreachable.

What do I do now?

This post is not meant to provide magic dust to sprinkle on your life.  I write to you to give you hope.  What is there to do when the rug has been pulled out from under you…

There are things you can do now.  Things that will strengthen you.  Things that will encourage you.  Things that will prepare you for your next opportunity that will come.

  • Stay connected.  You’ve got friends/family members who care about you.  Stay connected with them.  The temptation is to become even more isolated than the world is now.  Fight that urge.  Call someone.  Get a fresh perspective.  Hear an encouraging word.
  • Strengthen your mind.  Even if you are not out of job, use this unique time to become better.  Read a book that will make you stronger now than you were just a few weeks ago.  I highly recommend reading The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday.  I came across this title just a couple of weeks ago, and I am almost finished reading it.  This book will inspire you.  It will give you a quick kick in the britches.  It will make you think.  If not this book, find a book where you spend time investing in you now for your future opportunities. Or find an uplifting podcast.  You will not regret it.
  • Control your mind.  What we say to ourselves dramatically determines how we navigate life.  Be mindful to things you say to yourself.  Dr. Shad Helmstetter has been writing about this for decades – his words and work will encourage you!  Don’t roll your eyes at this.  Your self-talk is far more powerful than you think.  You can “re-program” your brain and make it work for you, not against you.
  • Journal your journey.  Multiple studies have shown that journaling is vital.  But what you write is as vital.  Take time to document what you are grateful for.  Write down positive interactions you had on a particular day.  Record questions you have and then follow up on learning the answers.
  • Don’t neglect your spiritual life.  From my perspective, this means spending time in prayer, worship, and meditation.  When stress comes, we are easily knocked off our feet.  Staying spiritually tuned is an essential grounding necessity.
  • Be others-focused.  When hard times come, it is natural to sit in a corner and lick your wounds.  But find ways to do something for others.  When we focus on others, we can more easily get out of the funk we are so easily entangled in.

Sure, there are things that are out of control.  Don’t focus on those things.  If it’s out of your control, then it’s a waste of your time mulling over it.  Focus on what you CAN do, then do it.

boulder

 

First Fridays High 5

As some of you know, I am one of the co-founders of First Fridays Fort Wayne.  My brother and started this in 2017.  First Fridays is a monthly leadership networking event where local leaders gather to hear another local leader share.  Our topics are as diverse as our audience.

This week, I was interviewed by two great guys from our First Fridays Fort Wayne team in something we call “High 5”.  Here is that interview:

To watch more High 5 interviews, go to our YouTube channel and subscribe today!

 

Promotion – Your Next Level of Results

  • There are athletes training right now for an Olympics event years from now.
  • There are individuals planning right now to build relationships that will last.
  • There are people who are working right now to lose weight and get healthy.
  • There are high school students who are working hard right now in extraordinary circumstances to prepare for college entrance.
  • There are scholars who right now are striving to earn that next degree that will propel their career.

What do all of these people have in common?  They understand and are implementing the 3 principles I have laid out in my book, The Path to Promotion.  The book does focus on helping someone advance in their careers.  But there is so much more to that.

Book Cover from Amazon

Are you wanting to move from where you are today to your next level?  Read The Path to Promotion and begin putting the principles into practice.