How to Communicate Effectively with “Annoying” Employees

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by Vanessa Van Edwards

We all have those people in our life who drive us up a wall. They make choices we don’t understand and they do things that seem nonsensical. More importantly, they are annoying because they are not like us. We cannot comprehend what leads them to act the way they do or what drives their seemingly bizarre decisions.

For entrepreneurs and business leaders, effective leadership is about learning how to deal with all types of personalities — even the annoying ones. If we could better understand people’s “annoying” choices and behaviors — motivated by where they’re coming from or what they value – they would become far less annoying.

The truth is, everyone has their own Value Language – i.e., what drives someone to make life choices, what gets them up in the morning and informs their goals and actions — and most misunderstandings stem from simple differences in Value Languages. To understand “annoying” people, we have to first learn where they are coming from and what motivates them. Then, you can appeal to what they value, instead of what you value.

I have narrowed people’s Value Languages into 10 different categories. Use these to identify (and better communicate) with the “annoying” people in your office:

Image. The first Value Language describes people who value image, beauty or aesthetic appearance above all else. These people spend huge amounts of time and money on their appearance either through clothes, plastic surgery or beauty regimes. In the office, they tend to annoy us by being late after spending too much time getting ready and making hires based on presentation rather than experience. They consistently pick romantic partners based on appearance rather than personality, and tend to be vain.

Money. Money is one of the most powerful motivators. Those who subscribe to this Value Language don’t care how they make money or the consequences of obtaining it; they just want more of it. It’s not just white-collar criminals; it’s also those who annoy us by either being cheapskates in office holiday gift exchange or “gold diggers” constantly looking for free meals.

Power. Authority, dominance and gaining more power are the biggest drivers for these people. Those who value power like to be able to influence or persuade others to do what they desire. They annoy us by trying to assert dominance in inappropriate situations (commandeering an office potluck), make power-hungry moves (taking credit for a work project they did not do) or throwing their company title in your face.

Fame. Fame, popularity, legacy and notoriety are the big motivators here. We are seeing a generation of kids who speak Value Language #4 as they upload videos of themselves singing, post constantly on Facebook and audition for reality shows. During office meetings, they annoy us by always seeking the spotlight when the boss comes in, wanting to be the center of attention during presentations and doing anything to get accolades for their work.

Proximity to the Ideal. This one is tricky, but very important. Some people value being as close as possible to what they deem an ideal. For some, this might mean playing the perfect “housewife” with 2.5 kids, a golden retriever, a white picket fence and lots of time for bake sales. Sometimes, people-pleasers and perfectionists fall into this category because they are obsessed with the “ideal” and having everyone like them and what they do. In the office, ideal-seeking workers put an extreme amount of pressure on themselves to seem like they have everything under control. They never ask for help and they never turn down work projects. They are the least communicative of the Value Language types, which can be detrimental to office teamwork.

Knowledge. People who speak Language #6 are most commonly called know-it-alls; they always have an opinion and an obscure news article they once read to back it up. They often only value others who are “in the know.” They annoy us by never letting anyone else have an opinion during meetings, arguing for fun and pompously telling you about all of the books on their bedside table during lunch break.

Read the rest here: http://theyec.org/how-to-deal-with-annoying-people/#

Change Your Team’s Habits to Hit New Results

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“This process within our brains is a three-step loop. First, there is a cue, a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use. Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional. Finally, there is a reward, which helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future.

Over time, this loop—cue routine, reward; cue, routine, reward—becomes more and more automatic. The cue and reward become intertwined until a powerful sense of anticipation and craving emerges.”

“However, simply understanding how habits work—learning the structure of the habit loop—makes them easier to control. Once you break a habit into its components, you can fiddle with the gears.”

Check out this book on the iBookstore: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-power-of-habit/id446670958?mt=11

4 Ways to Train Your Brain for Positivity

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As a manager, your team watches you. Your colleagues watch you. Your boss watches you. Vendors watch you. Your customers, too. They notice whether or not if you are a positive person. Are you? Read on. The following post will give you some practical steps to train yourself to become more positive.

by Jessica Stillman

Not a natural optimist? Use these simple exercises to train your brain to more easily pick out the positive.

You know how when you play Tetris for awhile, even after you stop, you can still see those little falling blocks in your mind’s eye?

The persistence of Tetris isn’t simply an annoying effect of a cleverly designed game, according to scientists. Instead it’s a reflection of something deeply positive about our brains–their plasticity.

That’s a according to a recent post by iDoneThis founder Walter Chen on productivity blog buffer. He cites studies on Tetris (yes, there is such a thing, and yes, this is going somewhere helpful to non-video game addicted entrepreneurs), which found that playing the game for a few hours a week over a period of months, actually changed the brains of players.

“Every time you reactivate a circuit, synaptic efficiency increases, and connections become more durable and easier to reactivate,” Chen writes, before summarizing the importance of the findings: “Whenever you do specific tasks over and over again, they take up less of your brain power over time.”

Learning Positivity

That’s probably not a shock to anyone who has learned to play the piano, speak a foreign language or even hit a tennis ball roughly where you want it to go. So what’s the big deal? This same brain plasticity allows you to master simple skills or sports, also allows you to train yourself to be more positive.

Chen quotes Shawn Achor, the author of The Happiness Advantage who has previously spoken about his work on the brain and happiness to Inc. Just like we can train our brains to more easily recognize the patterns of Tetris, “we can retrain the brain to scan for the good things in life—to help us see more possibility, to feel more energy, and to succeed at higher levels,” Achor says, dubbing this ability “the positive Tetris effect.”

Happiness Homework

So how do you do this? Chen offers four very simple interventions that can, over time, actually rewire your brain to see things more positively:

Scan for the 3 daily positives. At the end of each day, make a list of three specific good things that happened that day and reflect on what caused them to happen. The good things could be anything — bumping into an old friend, a positive remark from someone at work, a pretty sunset. Celebrating small wins also has a proven effect of powering motivation and igniting joy. As you record your good things daily, the better you will get and feel.

Give one shout-out to someone (daily). I love this technique. Take the positive things you’re getting better at recognizing and let people know you’ve noticed. Take a minute to say thanks or recognize someone for their efforts, from friends and family to people at work. A great way to go about this is by sending 1 daily email to someone. It can be your old school teacher, whose advice you are now appreciating every day. A co-worker or someone you’ve only met. Show courage and say thanks.

Do something nice. Acts of kindness boost happiness levels. Something as small and simple as making someone smile works. Pausing to do something thoughtful has the power to get you out of that negativity loop. Do something nice that is small and concrete like buying someone a coffee.

Mind your mind. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Opening our awareness beyond the narrowness of negativity can help bring back more balance and positivity into the picture.

http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/4-ways-to-train-your-brain-for-positivity.html?goback=.gde_3191399_member_212169873