listen

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Connecting with Others by Jim Johnson

If you are in business, you want to better connect with your customers and/or potential customers.  When we truly connect with others, we have the door open to more opportunities, deeper relationships, and bottom-line sales.

So, how do we better connect with others?

I have developed and taught the following to my staff as well as to others in people-connecting industries (which is pretty much all of our industries).  My staff calls this the “Laffy-Taffy” approach to connection after a candy’s name.  You’ll see why:

Customer Brings

 

Our customers bring us many things.  Some are evident and we see/hear them.  Other things are “buried” and we have to explore and discover them.

How do get beneath the surface?  The next steps are critical…

 

 

Listen Ask Feel

 

 

We have to actively and intentionally Listen, Ask, and Feel.  Far too often we assume what our customers want.  We push our agenda and don’t listen well.  Our customers will share with us, but we need to truly listen to them, ask more questions, and empathize with them.  Do not skip over this step!  This is where the real connection begins!

 

 

Think Act Follow Up

Once you have spent the appropriate time in Listening, Asking, and Feeling, then (and only then) should you move to these next three steps.  Think – based upon what the customer just shared with you, think through the options.  Act – based on what you’ve just heard, take action.  Don’t push your agenda.  Act on THEIR agenda!  And always Follow-Up/Follow-Through.

 

Does this process take a long time to do?  Perhaps at the beginning, it might.  If you are not comfortable with it, it may take a bit of time.  But after practice, you will become far more confidently competent in your interactions.  Your customers will open up more.  They will share their appreciation of your efforts.  They’ll tell others about you. You’ll get results.

Make great connections with your customers.  Practice LAF TAF every chance you get.  It makes a difference!

The Process

 

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W.A.I.T Why Am I Talking? – A Better Meeting Guide by Alan O’Rourke

We have all been at those meetings. The ones where people talk for the hell of it and without thinking. Before you know it the meeting is over and nothing is decided, much less discussed.

Less is definitely more when it comes to meetings. The smart people know what to say, when to say it and keep it concise.

Inspired by a note I spotted in the occupied office I have designed a handy flow chart for your meeting room that might keep things on track.

Find out more about Alan, see his flow chart on this topic, and reading more great content by following this link:  http://workcompass.com/w-a-i-t-why-am-i-talking-a-better-meeting-guide/

 

 

why am I talking

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“But Enough About Me”

My boss just shared the following with our Lead Team.  It is worth your time to read this.  I’m not sure where he found this, but read it, let it sink in, and then let’s all do it. 

if you make listening

But Enough About Me…

I sat in on a solid coaching session with a regional manager and two area managers while traveling last week.

Okay, to be honest, I sat near the session and not “in it”.

The hotel I was staying in was under construction and the temporary dining area was not very large. 

I was given the one open table near three guys having dinner and talking shop.

Not having earplugs or a television close enough to focus on, their conversation became the soundtrack of my meal. Thankfully, the most senior guy in the group doled out some pretty good advice.

Beyond the nuts and bolts of their particular business (some type of manufacturing), there was a more general piece of advice he gave that had me smiling and trying to see the reactions from his mid-30-years old dinner mates.

He told them, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I heard way too many complaints about First World problems in front of your teams today.”

As his dinner mates smiled sheepishly, he continued, “You guys are doing well. I know you work hard and believe me, I’m proud of our results. But your teams don’t need to hear about how much your kids’ private schools cost or how frustrated you are with the guys putting in your new pool.”

I will give him credit.

He made that point in a clear, yet non-scolding way.

As they joked around a bit about not wanting to sound like “that guy”, the senior manager put a nice ribbon on the subject.

He told them, “Look, sometimes the difference between the boss that you are inspired by and one that you resent is what he or she talks about most. If you are always talking about yourself, they see you as a ‘me first’ person.”

He continued, “If you are asking questions about their jobs, their families, their goals… they’ll walk through a wall for you because they know you are interested in their success…not just yours.”

I fought off the urge to lean over and high-five that senior manager.

Well, mostly because that would have been really weird.

Whether it is the employees working for you, the peers working with you or the customers you work for, how much of your conversations are centered on them?

Folks who focus their attention on others tend to attract more goodwill and success towards themselves.

Strive to be that person.

-Dave Martin

focus on others

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Adding Value – Kindness & Consideration

Leaders seek to add value at every opportunity.  Some tend to think of this as primarily offering advice or come up with a solution.  I want to encourage you to look to add value by doing this:

Demonstrate Kindness & Consideration

We life in a harsh world.  Sometimes that harshness creeps into our team members’/coworkers’ lives when least expected.  Add value to them during these times by showing some kindness.

How do you do that?

  • Listen – not as a counselor, but as someone who cares.
  • Encourage – write a short note to say “thank you” to someone you noticed has been working hard and getting results
  • Praise – don’t underestimate your spoken praise for a team member. This simple action can carry them for many days (weeks?)
  • Share – share a resource that might be of help to someone you know is struggling (I had the privilege of doing just this today!).

What else could you do to add value to someone who truly needs it? Be creative.  Share addition ideas in the comments below.

add value

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The Power of Praise by Jim Johnson

In my experience as a manager/leader of people for the past 30 years and in observing leaders I’ve led, a key behavior is too often missed.  Sure, we’re all good at pointing out areas of improvement.  We follow-up on the progress of a project.  We question our team member on an expenditure.

But we miss something.  Something that is powerful.  Something that is impactful.  Something that can help turn an indifferent team member into a passionate player.

PRAISE

Why is it we overlook this crucial part of leadership?  When a team member has done something great, overcome a hurdle, landed a significant sale, helped move the company forward, or shown initiative beyond their position, we might give a nod.  But so often we skirt by that and move on to “our” agenda.

The Results of Not Praising

What happens when we don’t verbally (or even in writing) praise a team member?

* We show our ignorance.  That’s right.  If our team member has done something significant and we don’t acknowledge it, they most likely will think “he/she has no clue what I do or how hard I work to make an impact here.”  And that is true.

* We exchange price tags.  What we focus on demonstrates what we value.  If we continually focus on what has gone wrong (according to our perspective), we show our team members what we value.  When they have really hit a significant goal or company metric and we basically ignore it, we have taken the “price tag” off that achievement and placed it on “well, we need to talk about how you…”  Where does that leave the team member?  Frustrated.  They just accomplished something that they are required to do – and exceeded expectations.  And what do we as leaders do?  Place value on something else with barely a recognition of their work.  Don’t ever let a team member feel “well, I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t”.

How to Praise

*Be specific.  It may seem like this is out of the “Mr. Obvious” playbook, but praise them specifically for what they have done.  Document this achievement and put it in their quarterly/annual reviews.  I’ve never had a team member be unhappy to review once again a major accomplishment.  They loved seeing it again.

* Make eye contact.  Look them in the eye when you are praise them specifically.  I’m bad at this.  But when I do it, it positively impacts me AND the team member.  It gets all of the focus on what you’re saying.

* Smile.  Again, I’ve got work to do here.  But if you are saying something positive, look positive.

* Remind them of their accomplishment.  Weeks or months down the road, you may be in a coaching session with this team member and they are not having a good stretch.  Remind them of what they can accomplish.  Remind them of what they did “back then”.  They can do it again.  Encourage them.

I just had a coaching session with one of my leaders yesterday.  I was so encouraged to hear how an online class had gone for her.  She took the lead in the class and was recognized for it by her professor.  I was able to put into my own words why this experience is true at her work, too.  She is very passionate about her job, her team, and her impact.  I was able to speak encouragement to her.

A few weeks ago, I sat in on an interview with the leader of my call center.  We were meeting a young lady who was hoping to get our part-time position.  She said at the beginning on the interview that she was nervous and not very experienced in interviewing.

But as my team leader worked her way through the conversation, this young lady spoke clearly, specifically, and confidently of her experiences and what she would bring to the table.  At the end, I said I had something to say.  I asked the young lady to look at me and I said, “you did an excellent job in this interview.  You did not come across nervous.  You gave specific examples of how you handled various work scenarios.  You demonstrated confidence in you as a person and your abilities.  You interviewed very well.”

The young lady almost cried.  She then said that she so needed to hear that.  She told me how much that meant to her.

Oh, yes, we hired her and she started this past Monday in training.

Don’t underestimate praise.  Don’t forget it.  As a leader, you probably don’t know how much your words of praise means to a team member.  The benefits for them, for your team, and for your company are endless.

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So There’s a Problem on Your Team…by Jim Johnson

No manager/leader will ever have a career where everything goes according to the plan.  Something is wrong on the team you lead. The wheels get wobbly on the wagon.  Sometimes they fall off.  Sometimes you have folks in the wagon that you wish were on someone else’s wagon.  Stuff happens.

There are times where a turn-a-round is a pretty simple fix.  Then, again, you’ll be faced with a team that is out of sorts – with each other, with you, or both.  Those times can be tough.

As the leader of your team, it is your responsibility to keep everyone on the same page, right?  Your boss will expect this of you.  Your company’s culture, I’m sure, demands it.  Teams that don’t function appropriately quickly stand out.  Managers who lead these teams also stand out.  So if you’re “stuck” in this situation, how do you handle it?

First, own it.  Whatever is happening…whatever has been said…what ever is the complaint…own what you can of it.  Take responsibility.  There is truth in difficult situations.  Find it and act upon it.  Yes, there will be drama, lies, and innuendos.  Stay clear of those.  Acknowledge the truth and act.

Second, understand your role and your team’s role.  As the leader, you will be setting the tone and leading the charge towards change.  Your team will be watching you.  That’s good.  Model the appropriate attitude and behaviors.  And know that it’s not all on you.  Each member of your team needs to be committed to helping the team out of its hole.  Personal opinions and biases get in the way.  Leaders can fall into the trap of blaming the team.  The team will talk about the leader behind his/her back.  Everyone is looking for a personal win.  But in business, “the house wins”.  You and your team needs to realize that the success of the business is paramount.  The best scenario is to bring alignment from both the leader and the team to what will be the “win” for the company.

Third, communicate.  If things aren’t going as you wish they were, don’t stop communicating.  You are still the manager.  Tell your team where they are succeeding.  Share with them where they are not.  Communicate change clearly.  If you don’t, your team will fill the “holes” with what they assume is happening in the change.  

Fourth, coach.  Spend significant time moving your individual team members forward.  A difficult team environment is not an excuse to stop developing your team.  They need you more than ever.  Keep the conversation on personal growth and your team’s/company’s metrics.  Don’t get caught up in the drama of one employee talking poorly of another employee.  Keep the conversation on what that team member can control and encourage them to meet/exceed their goals.  Give them the resources to do it.  Be there for them.  

Fifth, listen.  If you don’t, someone else will (i.e. HR, CEO).  Practice active listening.  Ask questions and then listen.  Take notes.  Follow up and follow through on what you hear.  Your team has a voice – listen to it.  

If you’re in a rough team environment, take heart.  You have what it takes to lead them out of it.  Keep short accounts with your team.  Don’t ignore bad behavior.  And by all means, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT your interactions with your team.  You’ll be glad you did.  

You are a team leader.  If your team is off track, lead them back on it.  It won’t be easy.  But it’s your job, right?  You can do it.  

 

“Nothing will work unless you do.”  Maya Angelou

 

 

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Speaking Potential to the Next Leader by Jim Johnson

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I’ve been fortunate, blessed to have influential people in my life who have encouraged my growth as a leader. Their influence has come in the form of mentoring and observing them living their lives. One of the things that has “stuck” with me, though, is the way they spoke potential into me.

Chuck Yoke successfully ran a large grocery change in the Spokane, Washington region. He was called home from the war to run his parents’ small grocery in Deer Park, Washington. Chuck quickly grew the business with his smarts and his keen understanding of people. He retired years ago having created a solid brand and customer experience in his stores.

I had the privelege of working for Chuck as a bookkeeper and then as an assistant manager in a new warehouse market in Spokane. One day, Chuck told me, “I’ve watched you work and learn new things. I’m convinced that there’s nothing you can’t do.” That comment has stayed with me for decades now. I remind myself of this when I’ve faced difficult situations. Someone somewhere back in time believed in me – I need to believe in me. Chuck spoke potential into me.

I had the wonderful opportunity to travel with the music organization The Continentals. I went on 10 tours in all over a 10 year period. My last 5 tours, I was the music director on one of many tours that would travel throughout the world. Cam Floria founded this incredible organization that has postively impacted leaders all over the world. As a fledgling music director, Cam would tell us that out on the road we would face some tough situations. He taught us to never give in to the idea “it can’t be done.” He taught us to be flexible. He taught us to make things happen even if everyone around us wants to give up. “There is always a way,” he would tell us time and time again. Cam saw my leadership potential before I did. I haven’t given up. Cam spoke potential into me.

When I was in the 6th grade, my Sunday School teacher was Al Schrock – everybody called him Shorty (he was). Shorty got me hooked on Dr. Pepper. He was a Bible scholar. He and his wife, Lizzy, were both brought up Amish. He helped me buy my first guitar by having me mow his lawn and help him with various building projects. He taught me the lesson that I can get what I want if I’m willing to work hard for it. He encouraged me to follow my passion of music (it has taken me around the world). He taught me the value of thinking and listening and asking questions. He loved his wife and he loved others. This man with only an 8th grade education taught me more than many of my college and master’s degree professors. Shorty spoke potential into me.

So here’s the million dollar question: who are you speaking potential into right now?

  • The new manager you just promoted?
  • A teen at your church?
  • Your children?

Don’t ignore the power of your life poured into someone else.

 

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10 Ways to Start Living a Meaningful Life Right Now

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BY IZMAEL ARKIN

Does Your Life Even Matter?

Go to work. Come home. Eat Dinner. Go to sleep. Wake up.

Rinse, recycle, repeat.

Do you ever wonder…

Does my life even matter?

There is magic and fear behind this question.

Deep down inside – you know that you matter! You know your life has meaning! You know you have a purpose!

But if your life matters, has meaning, and purpose… You’re forced to ask yourself:

Why am I living each day stuck on repeat?

Choose to Live a Meaningful Life Today

You have to be intentional about the life you want to live. It’s just too easy to fall into the “rinse, repeat, recycle” pattern.

Therefore the first step to living a meaningful life is to choose to live a meaningful life.

Once you have made this choice, then you have to take action.

Below I have listed 10 specific actions you can do today that will start to bring meaning to your life. Don’t try to do all 10 at once. Adopt one item from the list, and then slowly add others as time goes on. The journey of a 1000 miles starts with one step.

10 Ways to Start Living a Meaningful Life… Today

1. Focus on Being a Better Person

What type of human being do you want to be? A trustworthy friend? A loving partner? filled with gratitude?

The key is to step back and to ask these two questions:

1) What type of character do I want to have?
2) If I was that person, how would I act?

Then immediately start acting in a manner consistent with your answer.

We are what we do. Therefore, if you begin to act in a specific manner and continue to act like in that, then you are that person.

2. Commit This Moment

I mentioned this earlier but it bears repeating. Find somewhere quiet to sit. Take a few full breaths in and out. Become present in the moment.

Then with conviction start having an intense dialogue with yourself. In this dialogue you are going to explain that “This moment is it! This is the moment when O commit to living a meaningful life!” Then explain why you are going to commit.

Tony Robbins calls these “incantations”. They are not affirmations. Incantations are not statements that are merely said. They are words driven by deep emotions and passion. They are a commitment to the most important person in this world: yourself

3. Donate Your Time

One of the greatest way’s to bring meaning to your life is to help others in need. You can volunteer at a homeless shelter, help a friend move, read books to children at the library, the list goes on and on.

When you give your time to make the world a better place it brings immense meaning to your life. Imagine being part of the reason the world is improving! Now, that’s cool.

4. Listen When People Talk To You

Very few people actually listen during a conversation. We are social creatures. We all want to be heard. By showing how much you value others, you will bring greater meaning to your own life.

5. Make Today “Book Worthy”

Have you ever read a book and thought to yourself “Wow! That was awesome!” Well, what if you could make today worthy of a chapter in a book.

Think about this question:

What would make today worthy of a Chapter in “The story of my life”?

Answer that question than take action on the most viable thing you can do.

6. Do The Simple Things That Make You Smile

What makes you laugh? What makes you smile? What fills your soul with joy?

Maybe you like to watch sesame street, listen to cheesy music, watch old episodes of Seinfeld. What it is, doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it truly brings joy to your life.

7. Write out a “Future Gratitude List”

This works best if you do it in the morning. Sit down with a pen and paper. Then write down everything you are thankful for that is going to happen today.

The key is to write down everything you want to happen. For example “Have a wonderful lunch with a friend”.

Write down 5 things (the more the better). Then fold up the list and put it in your pocket. Carry it with you throughout the day. Then be intentional about making it happen.

Essentially this is a fun way of planning out your day.

8. Write Out Your “Life Dream List” and Take The First Step

This is awesome! Take out a piece of paper, pen, and stopwatch. Set the timer for 15 minutes.

Then start writing down everything you want to achieve in your life. Have fun with it, nothing is too big!

Then at the end of 15 minutes, look at the list and ask this question.

1) Which achievement (from the list) would have the single greatest impact on my life right now?

Then follow that with this question

2) What is the very first step I can take today to move in that direction?

Then immediately take the first step.

9. Tell Those You Love… That You Love Them

The danger is that It’s easy to get caught in the trap of assuming “they already know I love them”. But in reality, they might not know.

Write down a list of the people that you genuinely love. Then identify which of them you have not told lately “I love you”. Then go say it! It might be a little bit weird at first, but it will also be very powerful.

10. Ask this Question and adjust based on your answer

What would the world be like if everyone was like me?

Take a look at that question. Answer it openly and honestly. Then start making the necessary corrections this very moment.

Hint: If you said “The world would be great!” Then humility and the ability to be honest with yourself are skills you should work on.

Choose 1 Thing

This list can ignite the first step towards a life of meaning and purpose… Or it can do nothing for you. That’s on you.

Is today the moment when you start to bring meaning to your life?

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-start-living-a-meaningful-life-right-now/

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6 Tips to Help Leaders Think Before They Speak | What the *@#K Were You Thinking?

by Peter Baron Stark

 

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, someone comes along and reminds you that you haven’t.

I recently heard a woman mumble in front of a TSA agent, “What should I expect from someone who makes $10.00 an hour?” As I watched the TSA agent take all her bags to secondary inspection, I felt like saying to the woman, “When you open your mouth and say something really stupid, secondary inspection is exactly what you should expect.”

Unless of course you are a leader. Leaders who speak to others in that way face a different set of challenges.

A good portion of our practice is coaching executives and managers to be successful leaders. To be successful as a leader, you need to be able to build relationships where people are highly motivated to follow your passion, vision and direction. Some people are masters at saying the right thing to build relationships, teamwork, and motivate people to accomplish great things. On the other side of the fence, we have all seen leaders whose ways of communicating drive people away. Almost immediately, the recipient of the communication loses their motivation and increases their instant dislike for the person sending the message.

After hearing people say things that undermine their ability to achieve their own goals, most of us ask ourselves, “What were they thinking?!” I am reminded of the NFL football player who told the referee that he “stunk” after being called off sides. The referee called a second penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct on the player, then marched off the 10 yard bonus penalty, turned around and asked the player with the big mouth, “How do I smell from here?”

Like this NFL player, some people seem to have come into this world with the innate ability to stick their foot right in their mouth. Then there are other people who make a conscious effort to filter their words and say the right thing at the right time. The key difference here is that the second group of people usually consider the person they are talking to and how their words will affect that person, themselves and the relationship between the two people.

Here are 6 tips to help you build even stronger relationships when you speak.

  1. Remember, words are permanent. It is easy to say something, especially something mean and hurtful, under the umbrella of honesty. “Hey, sorry this hurts, I was just being honest,” is a phrase we have all said or heard. The great reality is there are a lot of things in life that don’t need to be said. Better yet, there are a lot of things in life that do not need to be said by you. What is important to acknowledge is that your words are permanent. Once you say something, it can’t be retracted. Your words have a lasting impact on people, either in a negative, or in a positive way.
  2. Think before you speak. As you start to speak, think about what you want to accomplish. Do you want to build someone up, or tear them down? Great leaders work hard at saying the right things that will motivate people to move in the right direction, especially when they need to give people really tough feedback. They work harder than the average person at saying it in a way that will successfully accomplish their goal.
  3. Shut up and listen. A great rule of successfully leading others is getting other people to talk first. When you understand where others are coming from, it makes it a lot easier to do two important things. First, you can respond choosing the appropriate words. Second, you can respond with empathy, a better understanding of where your counterpart is coming from. Listening is especially important when there is disagreement. When you are not in agreement, instead of talking, stop, think, and choose your words carefully to ensure you reach your goals.
  4. Ask questions. A good rule of thumb is to not give others advice unless they ask for it. If someone doesn’t agree with you, there’s actually a good chance that talking more and listening less is going to help you be more persuasive. My 92-year-old dad says it best, “People like you so much better when they do the talking.” If you still feel the need to give people your advice, ask if they would like to hear your opinion. If they say yes, they’ll be more likely to listen and value it then if you had just outright stated it.
  5. Be confident. People who lack confidence feel a need to tell others what they know, whereas people who have a deep level of confidence feel much more comfortable being silent and thinking about what others are really saying before they respond. For confident communicators, silence can be golden.
  6. Be grateful. When you are grateful for the people and places in your life, it makes it a lot easier to say something that will motivate others to want to be closer to you and help you accomplish mutual goals.

Because they think first, and speak second, when great leaders speak, their words help them get closer to their goals. Recognize the power that your words can have on others, both positively and negatively, and choose your words carefully, understanding that you can’t take back what you’ve said to others.

 

6 Tips to Help Leaders Think Before They Speak | What the *@#K Were You Thinking?

Peter Barron Stark Companies is a nationally recognized management consulting company that specializes in employee engagement surveys, executive coaching, and leadership and employee training. For more information, please visit http://www.peterstark.com