Connecting with Others Goes Beyond Words

I am reading John Maxwell’s book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.  I highly recommend this book!  As you may remember, I strive to read 10 pages each day which allows me to read most books in a month or less.  This is book #6 for me since January 1 – yes, I sometimes read more than 10 pages per day!  This is one of those books.

In today’s reading, John writes about connecting with others goes beyond the words we use.  I particularly like the section he entitles “What People Feel – Connecting Emotionally”.  I suppose this struck home with me because I need work in this area.  Here are some points that I want to share that are making me think and act differently:

  • “The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change….People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them.  Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower.”  (Rabbi Edwin H. Friedman)
  • “The exact words that you use are far less important than the energy, intensity, and conviction with which you use them.” (Jules Rose)
  • Effective communicators “pay attention to other people, and they desire to add value to them.”
  • Do you want to improve you communication skills in one-on-one, group, and audience settings?  “You need to be positive, believe in yourself, and focus on others.”

words are the currency

These are just a few of the tidbits found in this great book.  If you are looking for books to read in 2018, add this one to your list!

 

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Read, Leader!

Do you read regularly? Are you intimidated by a book? Do you take a book off the shelf at the bookstore and think “I should probably read this” but then think “I’m never going to make it through 200-300 pages”?

You’re never going to read an entire book in a sitting. So don’t set yourself up for failure – at least in your mind. Try this instead.

Read 10 pages a day. That’s it. Just 10 pages a day. If you were like most adults, you can read 10 pages in 10 to 15 minutes. Perhaps faster.

If you can do this, and I believe everybody has at least 10 – 15 minutes a day to do that, you will finish a 200 – 300 page book in a month or less.

So grab that business book you’ve been putting off reading. Head to the bookstore. Go to your library. Get a book that’s going to motivate, inspire, educate, and change you. Start reading. 10 pages a day. 10 to 15 minutes a day. 

You can do this. Read, Leader!

Read a Book?! Me?!

Is this your response if someone asks you to read a book?  I’ve heard it from many people that I encounter.

Studies have shown that when a person graduated high school and even college that a vast majority never read a book after that. When I ask people why they don’t read, I usually get responses such as “who has time to read a book?”

The answer is simple. You do. No, you really do.

In his book, The Slight Edge, Jeff Olson tells us exactly how to read a book, an entire book, and as little as 30 days. Olson suggests that you set aside time to read 10 pages each day. Now I’m not a fast reader, but I can read 10 pages in about 10 minutes. Olson states that if you read 10 pages a day, you’ll finish a 300 page book in a month. But I think too many people look first at the 300 pages and become overwhelmed thinking “I’m never going to read this”. And then they don’t. 

But if you break it down into simple segments – 10 pages a day – you can easily get through a book in a month. This is the secret to the slight edge – taking small incremental steps each day that gets you towards a goal.

What happens when you start to read?

  • You expose yourself to insights and thoughts that you wouldn’t get any other way.
  • You get an opportunity to learn something.
  • Ideas come to you.
  • A difficult situation may become more clear after reading.
  • You begin seeing your world from a different perspective.
  • It will positively affect your leadership style and your leadership abilities.

We probably all have heard it said that leaders are readers. There really is no downside to daily reading a book.

One of my goals for 2017 is to read 12 books this year. So far this month I’m about to finish book number 2. They’re not “long” books but I’m using the slight edge principles to read at least ten pages a day. As a result I’m moving through the books quickly and I’m gaining new knowledge and insight. And I’m journaling things that I’m learning (another goal of mine).

So, what are you reading? Yes, you! Put the slight edge in your favor, find a great book, and start reading. If you need a book list, start with The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. At the end of this book he lists around a hundred books that he would suggest leaders start reading. That would be a great place to start. Or listen to your favorite podcaster. I bet they’ll be some suggestions there.

In your town there may be a used book store. You can get great deals at places like that. Or go to Amazon. You can buy great used books for a fraction of the original cost. And many of those used books are in great condition.

Don’t limit your leadership abilities by giving yourself excuses not to learn and grow. Start reading. You really will love it.

What Are You Reading?

Reading is one of the best ways to develop yourself.  Here are the books I’m currently reading:

  • The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell
  • In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Battersea
  • Awesomely Simple by John Spence 

What are you reading?  

What You Will Be in 5 Years

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My pastor, Dennis Miller of Emmanuel Community Church (http://www.emmanuelcommunity.org/),shared the following yesterday. I thought you would love reading this…and begin thinking of its impact.

“What you will be in FIVE years is largely determined by two things: with whom you’re spending your TIME; and what you are currently READING.”

If Developing Leaders is the Question, Training May Not Be the Answer

by KEVIN EIKENBERRY

That is a very strange title to read from a guy who has designed and delivered training for the last 25 years, and whose company provides a wide range of workshops, both inside organizations and in public settings.

But the title is accurate.

Training may not be the answer, and it most assuredly isn’t the whole answer.

So if you are responsible for developing leaders in your organization (and if you are a leader, this is part of your responsibility), or if you are looking for ways to expand your personal leadership skill set, listen carefully.

You’ve got to think outside the (training) box.

While this idea deserves far more conversation than I will have room for here, today I want to get you thinking about ways to create learning opportunities beyond a workshop setting. Here are seven to get you started.

Peer coaching. We know more than we realize, and when we sit down with a colleague, we can make progress on our challenges by talking them out in a non-threatening situation. Plus, the advice we give as a coach bolsters our confidence and solidifies what we already know. And of course, a coach, whoever they are, can provide an opportunity for accountability for application.

Mentoring. Similar to peer coaching, mentoring typically involves someone more senior (or at least more experienced in a specific skill or situation) working with a protégé. This can be formally built in an organization or not, but the power of mentoring to drive learning and growth is significant.

Book clubs. Many different formats fit here, and that is worthy of another post itself. A small or large group uses a book as the basis for learning and then conversation. Whether you read the full book, or go chapter by chapter, find what works in your organization and use books as a starting point for conversation, learning and application.

Learn and share. One of the most powerful ways to learn is to teach. This fact is strung through nearly all of the ideas here, but it is the specific idea behind this activity. Someone in the organization goes to a workshop, conference or convention, and on their return they are asked to share key lessons with a larger group. This exercise holds attendees accountable, focuses their efforts and energies, and provides great learning to others back at work.

Read the rest here: http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/leadership/if-developing-leaders-is-the-question-training-may-not-be-the-answer/

About Kevin: There are lots of words that describe me. The “professional” ones include: author, speaker, trainer, consultant, facilitator, business owner, Chief Potential Officer (of The Kevin Eikenberry Group) and leader. The “life” ones include: husband, father, son, brother, friend, Purdue Graduate, reader, and learner. The “personal” ones include, Boilermaker fan, farmer’s son, tractor collector (yes, the real ones), auction lover and optimist.

All of these things (and more) make me who I am and are relevant to this blog and why it will benefit you.

Below you will find ideas, thoughts and suggested action steps to help you become a more effective leader – whatever your professional and life roles are. The path towards Remarkable Leadership (and a Remarkable Life) is just that – a path. The goal of this blog is to help you on that path, and through learning and action, become your Leadership Help Button.

http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/